139 // HELLO, CHILDREN. [VIDEO/SPAM]

[major_west]

[A garishly dressed, somewhat insane looking man IS FLAILING AND BECKONING, WIELDING MANY BALLOONS.]

Welcome, welcome, welcome, one and all! Want a balloon? I've got scores of balloons here, waiting for a sticky, dirty little hand to claim them. And just think, small children, yours can be that hand!

One penny a piece!

For three pennies, I'll even twist and sculpt them into all manners of animals! Dogs, cats, bears, weasels, foxes, giraffes-- That's right, any beast on four legs can be yours for three pennies! [Lol they all look the same :c Anyway, to demonstrate his point, he twists a balloon into a dog/cat/weasel thing.]

Like having a zoo in the palm of your hands!

[BIG, PAINFUL GRIN. He looks a little terrifying.]

What child wouldn't want a balloon?

[OOC: WEST IS JUST A GENERIC CREEPY ENTERTAINER. He's not even good enough to be called a clown. And he hangs out with Billy and robs houses at night.]

Comments

SPAM

[major-west.livejournal.com]

[WEST WORKS DILIGENTLY ON A BALLOON ANIMAL. You get an ambiguous four legged thing. He speaks QUITE SINCERELY:] I always put a bit of extra work in for you. [WINK. LOVINGLY HANDING THE BALLOON OVER.]

SPAM

[my-freeze-ray.livejournal.com]

[Billy accepts the 'bear', one hand forced to relinquish it's hold on West in order to do so. He takes a moment to admire it.] Oh it shows, there's a level of personal finish to my ones that just make them that little bit better than everyone else's balloon animals.

[He slides his free hand up into Wests hair and gives it an affectionate little ruffle.] How's business going?

SPAM

[major-west.livejournal.com]

For you, I'll even draw faces on them. [He beams, totally devoted to his best pal. The ruffle only fills him with gratification for a job well done.]

Fantastic, if I may say so myself. I've made... [Pause for effect:] Thirty cents today. [He tilts his head and looks at Billy searchingly.] They didn't make you work today, did they?

[THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE WORST THING.]

SPAM

[my-freeze-ray.livejournal.com]

You always make me the best things! [Billy beams beatifically, and closes his eyes, developing his slump on Wests shoulder into more of an appreciative lean.]

Thirty cents? Was that selling ten animals, or a mix of animals and regular balloons? [THIS DISTINCTION IS CLEARLY SUPER IMPORTANT. Billy opens his eyes again, and meets West's searching gaze, from his position of comfort. He gives a reassuring little shake of his head.] A couple of the new rousts acted like they thought I was going too, but I set 'em straight.

[BY LAUGHING AT THEM AND GOING OFF THE GET DRUNK.]

SPAM

[major-west.livejournal.com]

[West returns the lean with one of his own, resting his head against Billy's for a moment. Would you believe, they're actually not a couple?]

A whopping seven animals, and then this one woman-- worst skirt I've ever seen, she had on her-- she bought... [He counts off.] Nine...? No, eight balloons? [He trails off. The rest aren't that important, clearly.]

Good, good. It's very... [He looks at Billy, his gaze VERY SERIOUS now.] It's very important to establish dominance.

[BILLY AND WEST ARE CLEARLY THE TOP DOGS.]

SPAM

[my-freeze-ray.livejournal.com]

[Billy enjoys their little mutual lean, listening to West describe his entrepreneurial victories of the day.]

Mm. I always think that people who buy regular balloons are really just cheating themselves. I mean, the difference in the levels of skill employed in relation to the price of the services just makes it more economically viable to buy the animals. [Billy holds up the 'bear', and plays with it a bit, jiggling it up and down as he acts out it going on a hungry little bear forage.]

Yeah, like, I have seniority, don't I? Since I've been here so long? Didn't want them forgetting about that, did I?

[Billy LOVES the concept of seniority.]

SPAM

[major-west.livejournal.com]

[He lets out a LONG-SUFFERING whine, watching Billy play with the bear.] They just don't understand art. Not like you. Because that's what we have in common: [His eyes light up.] We're visionaries.

[And then, West nods enthusiastically. Not only does Billy have seniority over the others, he's clearly smarter, too.]

If they don't listen, you should thrash them. Hard.

SPAM

[my-freeze-ray.livejournal.com]

[Billy slides his hand out of Wests hair, to wrap it around his neck in a loose hug that could have possibly doubled as a headlock, if Billy had any motive to do so, and if West wasn't the muscle of their operation.] Don't worry, one day we'll blow this place, and go somewhere were you're really appreciated. [Billy has BIG DREAMS. BIG VAGUE DREAMS.]

[He gives West a sidelong glance as the other man recommends a course of action for him to take, if disobeyed.]

You know I love a good thrashing as much as the next man, Henry, but I don't think I could realistically thrash any of the other roustabouts. Maybe a couple of the freaks, but not really any of the rousties.

[Pause, and NOW WITH AN ADDED WHINE IN HIS VOICE.]

Besides, they'd gang up on me!

SPAM

[major-west.livejournal.com]

[And West just LEANS INTO THE LAZY, MANLY HUG, but he can't quite return it since he's got his hands occupied with balloons.] Yes! We'll go to, to... Hollywood! [TO BE RICH, FAMOUS ACTORS?] We'll build [He grins terrifyingly.] sets.

[SO AMBITIOUS.]

I'll do it, then. [He's quite excited by this prospect.] There are fourteen ways to kill a man with a balloon, you know... I read it. In a book.

SPAM

[my-freeze-ray.livejournal.com]

[Lazy leaning hugging continues, as Billy watches the fate of the balloons.] Yeah, that'd be great. We could make our sets, then go to a picture, and we'd be able to see the bits that we'd made, right there in the movie theater. And hey, you know what else we could do in Hollywood? [PAUSE FOR IMPACT] Go climb on the giant letters.

[IT'S HARD TO TELL HOW MUCH OF THIS IS HIM HUMORING WEST, AND HOW MUCH IS REAL.]

I bet there's less than fourteen of them who'll stand up to us! You could just go through the list at your leisure!