major_west

[Annnnd on the screen appears a very posh, British Dr. Horrible. Wearing camo.]

I don't know why I'm even bothering to ask, since you lot weren't particularly helpful before, but I would like to know something:

Why are there no less than three men with my face? [Pause, he sees a Claude post.] Ah. Four. And why, when I look in the mirror, do I see this? [He gives the camera a very pointed look.] Is it drugs? A new... experimental vaccination for the Infection? What sort of place is this?

And please: don't answer with "the Barge."

Aleera's pissed that I didn't let her play with my junk on prom night cuz I herd she had herpees.

Has this entire Barge gone mad? You people sound even more incoherent and ridiculous than usual! I mean, honestly! I'd have at least expected certain wardens to retain a bit of professional integrity.

This is boring, really. There isn't anything for a girl child to do here on the Barge, is there?

I suppose that makes sense. I mean, it's a place for dead people, crooks and criminals, so yeah, I understand why the options for entertainment are limited. We're to be punished and all until we repent. But you'd think I could at least get a show on the telly, instead of static. I don't even know why I have this if I can't get any of the channels working. I can't even do much of anything at the gym right now, and I'm not allowed in the pool area, or the pub, don't feel like reading, so what am I supposed to do?

Oh!

That's right! I've got my neph-- that Playstation!



...I've never used one of these before. How do I get it hooked up?

[Filtered to the Admiral]
Dear come on, I'm too old for this Santa,

Please send Jim hurtling from the Barge or, alternately, at least allow him to remain dead if I get a chance to kill him.

I would also like my family and my men back-- although not here-- and a pair of new shoes. Also, a DVD player would be nice, preferably with some films made after my death. Good ones, mind, none of this straight to video garbage.

Also... um. A new Dungeons & Dragons book for Billy-- if there are any he doesn't own already-- and a spare set of goggles, in case that idiot Hammer breaks the ones he already has. And a.... scarf?

So I'm rubbish with gifts.

--Major Henry West

[/Filter]

You know, I always did enjoy Christmas. I do have happy memories of the holidays despite the constant nagging over marriage and all, but when it comes to holiday cheer... I'd really rather it be authentic, Admiral, and not manifest as a sudden compulsion to bake gingerbread men when all I wanted was a bloody glass of orange juice.

In short: Billy, I have cookies. Would you like some?

Dearest Readers,

What a curious accident, my arrival here. It seems I have been spirited away, bedroom and all, to this strange vessel. Luckily, I am happy to report that my person and my belongings remain unmolested. Still, this is most irregular, and I must admit, were I a man of weaker constitution, I'd have fainted at the sight of my newfound surroundings and neighbours. As it is, I intend to embrace this strange, new world! I am already composing a new poem about it.

Yours Sincerely,
Henry West

[Filtered to: Tobias, Morgan, Dexter]

Coach says it's open season on burnouts. 'specially Solo.

I was struck with a compulsion to shave my legs among other areas. Being blond (NATURAL, thank you), I suppose it wasn't necessary, buuuut~ I might as well show my legs off now! Thank god for these skirts; I don't know what I would've done with all those rubbish trousers.

Does this mean I'll have smooth legs when I'm a man again? Oh dear, I hope not.

Morgan, I really must insist you take me to the pool!

xoxo
Hen Maj Umm... me?

[OOC: Flood + Hormones is starting to affect his braaain and making him write and act all girly]

Morgan love, darling, sweetheart, dearest, my very reason for being--: Somebody here may be Infected. Where are you?


[OOC: SO West thinks there's a threat of Infection... in addition to his flood-love for Morgan. Sooo... just FYI he'll probably start getting a bit violent and crazy :D]

My head hurts.