major_west: (hope you see things my way)
[personal profile] major_west
I'm not used to people looking out for me. It's a funny sort of role reversal. This entire experience has been one strange, mad event after another and I don't know who I am anymore I feel out of sorts.

I don't know if I want to be here anymore.

Well. Anyway. The door's back.


[OOC: AS USUAL, whenever people get too close to him, he freaks out and pulls away. Strikes can be deciphered if you really care enough to squint]

Date: 2008-09-28 06:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notverylordly.livejournal.com
I still say there's a very simple way to deal with feeling this out of sorts.

You know where the fault lies as well as I do

Date: 2008-09-28 06:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] major-west.livejournal.com
I do, yes. But now I'm being monitored extra vigilantly.

Date: 2008-09-28 06:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notverylordly.livejournal.com
I noticed. Shame she doesn't trust you.

Me, I've managed to run off two Wardens now. Its an acquired skill.

Private

Date: 2008-09-28 06:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] major-west.livejournal.com
I don't want to run Morgan off. I just want her to take her attention off of me while... this matter with Jim becomes 'resolved'.
Edited Date: 2008-09-28 06:38 pm (UTC)

Private

Date: 2008-09-28 06:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notverylordly.livejournal.com
Ah, and you're telling me this...because we're such fast friends or...because you want my help?

Private

Date: 2008-09-28 06:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] major-west.livejournal.com
Neither. Forget about it.

Private

Date: 2008-09-28 06:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notverylordly.livejournal.com
Oh come on, It can't possibly grate at you that much just to ask nicely now can it?

Besides I still owe the lady for shooting me.

Private

Date: 2008-09-28 06:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] major-west.livejournal.com
Oh, it absolutely can.

Leave her alone.

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Date: 2008-09-28 07:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] my-freeze-ray.livejournal.com
Told you it wouldn't be permanent.

...I suppose it would be redundant to ask how you're feeling.

[Private]

Not knowing who you are... I'm starting to think that's what this place is designed for. The floods, the ports, the changes, I don't think anyone can really go through that and be entirely certain how much of it was him.

1/2

Date: 2008-09-28 07:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] major-west.livejournal.com
I'm glad you were being more sensible about it than me.

...right. I am feeling better-- no more mental manipulations to make me behave all... silly.

Private

Date: 2008-09-28 07:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] major-west.livejournal.com
If so, it's completely sadistic. The constant manipulation... how is that supposed to 'help'?

Private

Date: 2008-09-28 07:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] my-freeze-ray.livejournal.com
I don't know. I don't even know if it is supposed to help, or just to break us down.

And I don't know, it was kind of nice seeing you happy.

Private

Date: 2008-09-28 07:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] major-west.livejournal.com
I think that must be it. I don't enjoy being somebody else or, perhaps the problem is that I enjoy it too much.

Oh?

...thanks. I know I'm dour most of the time, but... I could try to be happy more often.
Edited Date: 2008-09-28 08:01 pm (UTC)

Private

Date: 2008-09-28 09:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] my-freeze-ray.livejournal.com
I guess the problem comes, when you can't see where you start and they finish anymore. As long as we're not that far along we're okay.

And don't worry about it Henry, if you have to try to be happy, then you're doing it wrong. Just don't freak out when it sneaks up on you.

When are we going to go get that coke?

Private

Date: 2008-09-28 10:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] major-west.livejournal.com
Precisely. I don't know how much of the 'change' that I-- or any other-- makes here is genuine, and how much is forced. How much of this rehabilitative process is truly rehabilitation?

I'll do my best.

How does right now work for you?

Private

Date: 2008-09-28 10:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] my-freeze-ray.livejournal.com
Do you think you have changed much? Being here?

I mean, whatever they're trying to do to us, has it worked?

Right now works just fine for me. Dining hall?

Private

Date: 2008-09-28 10:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] major-west.livejournal.com
I feel less certain about... everything since coming here. Shorter temper, more easily frustrated. I don't know. I used to consider myself a very 'together' person.

But nevermind that. I'll see you at the dining hall.
Edited Date: 2008-09-28 10:58 pm (UTC)

Private

Date: 2008-09-29 12:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] impure-tale.livejournal.com
come see me soon?

You're not thinking of

...If you need to talk.

Private

Date: 2008-09-29 12:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] impure-tale.livejournal.com
But you don't want to be here anymore.

Private

Date: 2008-09-29 12:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] major-west.livejournal.com
Not with him here. I fear I'd have to become a different person.

Private

Date: 2008-09-29 01:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] major-west.livejournal.com
Who I was before I came here.

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