062 - I feel pretty, oh so pretty!

[major_west]

Oh, quit complaining, all of you. It'll be over in a few days, as it always is. Honestly, is this any worse than a standard flood? You only look different.


[OOC: And he's so pretending that he didn't just have some insane fit of emo and crack open his Christmas booze at the sight of himself. SO. A LITTLE GIRL MIGHT BE GETTING ALCOHOL POISONING BECAUSE SHE'S TRYING TO DRINK LIKE A GROWN MAN. Somebody stop him plz :c]

Comments

[gimmethemap]

[Gently.] That's not what I asked you. How would you have felt?

[major-west.livejournal.com]

...

[He stares at her, which doesn't really carry any authority or weight-- it normally doesn't anyway because she's warden, but now it's even less so]

Like a child.

[gimmethemap]

[And what place does a child have -- in a world that's unfamiliar and frightening, where you know the monsters are real? She shakes the thought away.]

Is that how you saw her?

[major-west.livejournal.com]

Initially. But I overcame that.

[gimmethemap]

In what way?

[major-west.livejournal.com]

...

I don't want to talk about that. You already know.

[gimmethemap]

That's why you should be asking questions, too. It gives you ammunition.

[But she moves on.]

When was the last time you saw her?

[major-west.livejournal.com]

When she killed me.

[gimmethemap]

How did she do that?

[major-west.livejournal.com]

You already know the events that led to my death.

[gimmethemap]

You know it's not about me knowing it, Major.

[She frowned. If he didn't keep so much in his head he wouldn't need so much booze to drown it out.]

What do you think you would have done if you hadn't been pulled out of the car?

[major-west.livejournal.com]

I didn't think that far ahead.

[He answers too quickly, but it could be true. Honestly, his own thoughts from around that time are too hazy to recall]

[gimmethemap]

Then think about it now. Based on how you feel about it now. If you wound up there again, and -- had a bullet left to finish off the Infected before he finished you off. And you stayed in that car. What next?

[major-west.livejournal.com]

[In a flat, agitated voice] I don't know.

[gimmethemap]

[She sighed.]

Major, do you know why I'm asking you about these things?

[major-west.livejournal.com]

Because you want me to answer.

[gimmethemap]

What were you thinking when you saw her face in the mirror this morning?

[major-west.livejournal.com]

[He glares] I wasn't thinking anything. I felt sick.

[gimmethemap]

Why did you feel sick?

[major-west.livejournal.com]

Because I'm a grown man, not a child-- and certainly not a girl.

[gimmethemap]

So it wasn't about recognizing the girl at all?

[major-west.livejournal.com]

Of course it was about that, too.

[He pauses, takes a breath, then tightens his grip around the mug in frustration]

It's nothing but a cruel joke on the Barge's part to put me in this body, in these clothes-- it's a slap to the face.

[gimmethemap]

[He was starting to lose his temper, and though Morgan wanted to give in to her own frustration, she knew better. A deep breath through her nose, and calm was returning.] I don't think it's a joke, Major. Or at least it's only a joke if that's what you let it be.

[major-west.livejournal.com]

Hm.

[With that noncommittal noise, he doesn't add anything else]

[gimmethemap]

Do you remember what we talked about at the end of our last meeting, Major? I said that until you're put in a place to make the right or wrong decisions, that it's about finding a way to make up for what's happened. But there are steps.

[She wrung her hands.]

I worry sometimes that you think penance, here, is about earning the right to forget, but it's about learning to forgive as much as anything else. You know that, don't you?