020 - Confuuuuusion

What am I like on a "normal" day? Will Can anybody tell me? Warden?

Also: bored. Ran laps, read a book, but I'd rather get a pint and catch some telly. Haven't been able to locate either one.

This is kind of like a cruise, yeah? Where's the, uh... pool? They got pools on cruises, right?

Edit:
Morgan, please tell me who I am. And why I've got a bird for a warden?